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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Life as a Burden or a Privilege?

Life as a Burden Vs. Life as a Privilege
By Jeff Herring

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Is the glass half empty or half full? Here's one that I have been having some success with lately: Do you approach life and all it contains as a burden or as a privilege?

As I've been learning recently, the burden-or-privilege view greatly influences your life for bad or for good. Let's take a look at how this choice can affect your life.

Life as a burden

A person with the burden view thinks and behaves like this:
Approaches the daily tasks of life grudgingly.
Spends much of his time complaining.
Appreciates just about nothing.
Is easily overwhelmed and depressed.
Gives those close to her the impression they are inconveniences in her life.
Dwells on the past, dislikes the present, dreads the future.
Believes pessimism/cynicism is a gift.
Believes if something bad happens it's fate; if something good happens it's luck.
Dwells on the faults of others, which blind her to their strengths.

Life as a privilege

A person with the privilege viewpoint thinks and behaves like this:
He or she approaches the daily tasks of life gracefully.
Instead of complaining, she identifies what she doesn't like and gets busy changing it.
He appreciates just about everything, especially the little things in life.
He sometimes feels stressed or sad, but he takes immediate action to change.
Those close to her get it that they are precious and cherished.
He learns from the past, enjoys the present, looks forward to the future.
She knows the gentle art of optimism.
He knows that he makes his own luck.
Though aware of the faults of others, she chooses to work with their strengths instead.

How to change

The interesting thing about these perspectives is that you could build a case for each one. There is enough good stuff and bad stuff out there to support either one. In other words, you could easily justify taking a burden perspective on life.

But why? If you are interested in moving from a burden perspective to a privilege perspective, here are a few tips:

Pay attention to your focus. What you focus on each day will determine how you see the world. If you focus on the problems, you'll have a burden perspective. If you focus on the solutions, you'll have a privilege perspective.

Perspective is simply a matter of choice. A negative perspective may have become a habit as a result of repetition. A habit is just a series of the same choices made over and over. Make some different choices, and you can change your perspective.

For a week, practice the characteristics of the privilege perspective. I think you will like the results, and so will those around you.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


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