Face Fear With 'I Cans'

FACING DOWN THE FEAR OF FAILURE OR REJECTION WITH SOME UNCANNY "CAN'S" by Georgia Ana Larson

We've all had the experience of being afraid of people and new situations in which we might experience some sort of failure, of dreading having to approach and speak to strangers and having them reject us, of shaking in our boots at the thought of trying to speak clearly and persuasively in front of others in order to present a product or idea.

None of us want to fail, to experience rejection or to be laughed at. That's only natural. But allowing these fears to dominate your thinking can keep you from succeeding as a work-from-home business person.

Here is a reality-based approach to limiting the degree to which those fears can dominate your thinking or defeat your efforts to promote your business, products or ideas.

First, make certain that you know why you're doing what you're doing. I'm talking about your bottom-line motivation here: the smiling faces of your family, the thought of providing for them and yourself well into retirement, the thought of being able to spend more time with them doing things you all enjoy doing, the thought of traveling with your partner or children, of paying for college educations and weddings and business expansions.

You know what I mean -- your real, bottom-line WHY.

Second, concentrate on what you want to accomplish -- intentional planning, I suppose. I find that if I have set goals for myself that others can block -- like making so many dollars profit in the next 6 hours or selling so many cases of product -- I can get pretty frustrated when other folks don't "make my dreams come true."

Instead, I intentionally focus on objectives that depend upon me alone. My fear and frustration levels will be lower and my openness to others can be greater as I do this.

With focused purpose, I identify the actions and attitudes that are under my control:

*I can show up as prepared and full of energy as possible.

*I can reach out to others, offering wonderful products and opportunities and ideas and give my deliberate attention to each of them as people, not as objects. (People can always tell if you're really interested in them or only interested in closing a sale.)

*I can refuse to demand anything in return of those to whom I reach out. I will not waste my energy on expectations over which I have no control.

*I can be positive with others, relying on the quality of what I'm offering and my personal attention as enough to win over those who can be won over. (Remember others can have things going on in their lives that are so negative and/or hurtful that no amount of sales persuasion will work.

It may even backfire as the energy you try to extend is repulsed with even more negativity. A calm, persistently positive spirit is called for here. You may be the only positive input some folks have in a given circumstance -- that alone will make you memorable.)

*I can maximize my opportunities for future contacts with those to whom I am offering my products. I can give out samples and business cards (with a smile and a kind word!) and offer information and friendly conversation.

*I can have the consistent expectation that the customers I need will come my way, that the contacts that are important will show up because I have also shown up in this positive, open way. Let's face it, if your fear of rejection has left you closed to interactions with new folks, they're likely to pick up on that and avoid you, too.

*I can remain open to learning everything, absolutely everything, I can learn from the environment, the experience, the customers, the other people around me, etc. Some of the contacts I've made and some of the ideas that have come to me as a consequence of facing these situations have helped me in ways I could never have calculated or expected beforehand.

Do I also set hopeful objectives about sales, prospects, responses to my ideas, etc.? You betcha. But I keep in mind that only my part is really under my control. When I concentrate on what I can do rather than on what other people might do, I have less of a concern about failure -- and so come away from the experience feeling positive and without any sense of having failed at all, even if my ideal goals were not achieved in that circumstance.

This kind of intentional concentration on the positive, fun, outreach aspects of your business can have benefits in many areas of your life. Don't let "what-if-they-reject-me" thinking rob you of any of the joy possible to you. Instead, imagine people walking away from you with the idea that yours must be a positive product or idea or opportunity because you're such a positive person.

Now, who could ever think of that as anything but being a real success?

Georgia Ana Larson is a writer/editor/entrepreneur and advocate of radical hope. You can read more of her writing at www.aBrighterCandle.com -- and you can find a product and business opportunity she offers at www.GourmetJerkyoftheMonth.com

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Action Step - Are You Choosing Goal Results You Can Control?

The above article talks about business areas, but in reality the principles can be applied in every area of our life. Think about how you can apply this information to help you get what you want.

See you tomorrow.

Al Smith,
aka The Realgoalgetter

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