Self Talk, Are Your Thoughts Normally Positive Or Negative?

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings, and your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can begin to assert control over every part of your life.

Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that you experience.

When you see things positively and you look for the good in every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.

You are constantly faced with challenges, difficulties, and problems every day of your life. They are unavoidable and one of the inevitable parts of being human. But as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger person.

When you look back over your life, you’ll see that you are the kind of person that you are because of all the difficulties and problems that you have had to overcome in your life. Without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know to developed the character and strength that you have at this point in your life.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable for success and happiness. It is the key to success in business, and it is vital to building strong relationships with other people.

Everyone wants to be around a positive person with a cheerful attitude towards life. But no one wants to be around a negative person who is always pessimistic about everything. Your ability to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what the situation may be, will play a critical role in any success you achieve.

One of the best ways to define a positive mental attitude is having “a constructive and positive response to adversity.” It is only when you are confronted with a setback or adversity that you really know if you have a positive attitude or not.

Anyone can be positive when things are going well. It is only when things are going against you, that you are able to demonstrate to yourself and others, that you have a positive character and personality.

One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up, successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move forward towards their goals.

Optimistic people develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience adversity of any kind, they immediately describe it to themselves in a such a way that it looses its ability to trigger negative emotions. They are able to exert a sense of control by how they describe any event or situation to themselves.

There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness. We feel hurt and disillusioned. We react just as though we had been punched in the “emotional solar plexus.”

A person who is positive and optimistic is resilient and bounces back fast when he or she encounters a problem or setback of any kind. He or she responds quickly to an adverse event and interprets it as being temporary and only external.

An optimistic person takes full control of his or her inner dialogue and counters any negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that appears positive in some way.

Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, if you deliberately choose the positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive.

Since your thoughts and feelings determine you actions, if you keep your words and thoughts positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more rapidly toward your goals.

It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. When a problem or difficulty comes up you must learn to change your language from negative to positive. For example, you should learn to use the word situation instead of problem.

A problem is something you wrestle and struggle with. It represents a potential loss and difficultly. A situation, on the other hand, is just something that you deal with. The event is the same. But the way you interpret the event to yourself is what makes it sound and appear completely different.

An even better word to substitute for problem is the word challenge. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.”

The word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to and that makes you stronger. It is again the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe it is different. As a result, your emotional response will be different as well.

The best of all possible words for any event or situation is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I am faced with an unexpected opportunity.”

Within ever difficulty or problem, there lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity or benefit. If you focus your attention on finding out what the valuable lesson is, you will always find it.

You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such as “I like myself,” “I am the best,“ and “I can do it.” These are personal and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror at least 50 times a day.

By doing this, you will be driving these new positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this, you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.

The hallmark of the truly successful and happy person is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The high achieving individual has the ability to continue talking to himself or herself in a positive and optimistic way no matter what the situation is.

They are always calm, clear, and completely under control. As a result, they are able to exert a far greater sense of control and influence over their environment, and are less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted by problems or difficulties.

The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words positive and consistent with your goals. Keep your mind focused on what you want and on becoming the person you want to be.

Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to become a better person. So, welcome each difficulty as a learning experience and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.

Always, keep your thoughts on your future and on your goals. Constantly think about the person you want to become. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.”

Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant in every situation. Resist every temptation to respond to a situation negatively. View disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and talk to yourself and others about it in a positive and optimistic way.

When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental pictures consistent with your goals, nothing can stop you from being the success you are meant to be.

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc.
All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. A former ad agency executive and marketing consultant, Joe’s work in personal development focuses on helping his clients identify hidden marketable assets that create windfall opportunities and profits, as well as sound personal happiness and peace.

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

Can We Be Happy, Healthy, And Rich?

Do you really need to read another emotional article about being sick and tired of not being rich? Yes, you do want to get rich. The inside of your head is waiting to explode, you want it so bad!

You want to get rich though NOW, right? . . . RIGHT?

You might even have read a million articles and advice columns all over the internet. “Live below your means” is something you read all the time. It’s absolutely true but that sucks, doesn’t it?

You don’t want people to ask you to create a budget and stick to it or start early or invest now and not touch it until retirement and more along these lines.

Get started NOW. Don’t just spend your lifetime in thinking and dreaming. Do something solid now. It may not be the super right thing to do, but do it nevertheless. Just get started.

Edison did not invent the bulb overnight. He just started. He perhaps found some 10,000 odd ways that will not result in a bulb as the end! But alas, he made his creation. He tells the story about how he had found all the ways it wouldn’t work, so that the next thing had to work!

Start off now. Mistakes are part of the process. You will learn how not to do it the next time. Take action, analyze the results and be flexible. Adjust when necessary.

Remember, it is OKAY to fail. Mistakes are bound to occur. You can’t afford to be too hard on yourself. Most times, success lies behind the last mistake you make, which might even be a 100th mistake you are making. Just don’t stop digging three feet short of the gold!

You want to be rich. You’re just on your way. Pump yourself up and move on. Get closer to your dream.

You have loads of energy in you. You’re sick of earning a pittance. You want to see real money come your way now. So here’s what you need to rightfully do:

First, decide what “rich” is. Are you referring to Bill Gates rich where you can afford just about anything? Maybe you don’t really want to work that hard. You want to work lesser but still be “rich”. So, the first rule of thumb is - be specific. Do you want to be rich in the billion dollar area, 100 million area or maybe just 10 million dollars would be rich enough.

Here’s a quick idea, don’t work! . . . At least, don't work for someone else. Be your own boss. Well, you can have a job, and also work for yourself can't you?.

Are you going to work to please your boss or yourself? Please yourself first; you will realize that everybody around you will be happier with you if you are first happy yourself.

So, make yourself absolutely happy first and then you can go about doing that for others. Primary importance is you and you only. Do not forget this. You must take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

Do what you love doing. Commercialize on what you love doing. It might initially seem like you can’t make any money out of it. But concentrate, meditate and THINK of all possible ways to make something work out for you. What you love doing should fetch you money somehow.

Now this doesn’t mean you can play golf all day and earn money. Not unless you’re Tiger Woods! Find some creative ways to make money with something you like doing. You just have to do this.

You can get rich. Just go out there now and do what you love doing. You have a wonderful brain. You just have to tap it and getting that lazy lost thing to start working. Think. Come up with a plan and plunge headlong into it.

Money is just a measure of the value you provide to others. Service to others should always be compensated for in some way. All you have to do is find enough of those people who can afford to pay for your services, and provide value and benefits they want or need, and are willing to pay for them.

Follow your passion and begin to strategize on how to monetize your efforts. Money will follow. Money will follow in great amounts as long as you keep persisting in locating strategies to earn compensation for your efforts. It will.

I apologize if this sounded more like a sermon than a post. After all, I needed a kick in the butt, and this helped me work things out in my own mind . . .

See you next time.

Al