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The Realgoalgetter

Self Improvement Articles

Do Something That Scares You Everyday
by Marta Kagan
Career Coach, Business Coach, & Motivational Speaker

There is something innately terrifying about stepping outside of your Comfort Zone. Sometimes even the thought of trying something new or different can cause your heart to race. At the threshold of every new experience looms the possibility of failure, rejection, or injury, leaving you wrestling with (or simply giving in to) a healthy dose of fear.

The simple truth, however, is that fear is one of life's greatest saboteurs. It robs us of our happiness. It causes us to settle for far less than we're capable of. It introduces a melee of negative emotions and conflicts that unravel our relationships and lead us to even greater levels of fear. Fear influences us on such a pervasive level, that we often don't even recognize it for what it is. Fear is the reason why so many of us stop believing in ourselves, stop pursuing our dreams, stop being true to ourselves. And none of us are immune to it.

Behavioral scientists insist that this fear response is a healthy manifestation of our survival instinct. We are programmed to move away from things that make us physically or emotionally uncomfortable; to the subconscious mind, this discomfort equals potential danger. By avoiding the source of the discomfort, we minimize the chance of injury, and therefore, increase the chance of survival.

Of course much of what lies outside the Comfort Zone is far from life-threatening. Nevertheless, our innate programming causes us to experience discomfort, fear, even panic as we approach the edge. By all intents and purposes, we are hard-wired to avoid anything new and challenging. Instead, we stay safely within the Comfort Zone for most of our lives. We develop what some have called a "homeostatic impulse" - an unconscious tendency to be drawn irresistibly toward doing what we've always done.

Homeostasis itself is not a bad thing. Our bodies have developed an innate ability to maintain homeostasis that is critical to daily survival. This is what keeps your body temperature at 98.6 degree Fahrenheit; it's what maintains the delicate chemical balance that allows your heart to beat and your muscles to contract.

The danger of homeostasis is that it often leads to complacency, the great enemy of creativity, growth, and success. Our fears of rejection and failure, our need to move away from discomfort, our unconscious homeostatic impulse keeps us doing the same things we've been doing, even when those things are no longer serving us. Have you ever wondered why some people stay in unhealthy or even abusive relationships? Why some people spend years in a job they hate, complaining endlessly but never leaving?

Change is certainly hard, but it's not the difficulty that holds so many of us captive - it's the FEAR. The homeostatic impulse can be so powerful (and so unconscious) that even if forced out of a bad situation, most people will recreate a new one - similar to the one they just left - as soon as they possibly can. This is the phenomenon where someone loses the job they absolutely hated and then actively seeks the very same job someplace else; or someone who leaves their unhealthy relationship for another one just like it.

It all comes down to the Comfort Zone. It all comes down to Fear.

In order to cause any true change in our lives, we must start by becoming aware of our own homeostatic impulses; we must come to terms with our fear. We must get used to the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that results when we first step out of our comfort zones, recognizing that great success and happiness are only possible when we're willing to take a little risk. This is a conscious activity that calls for a great deal of courage and vigilance. And sometimes, the only way we can find that strength of will is by taking smaller, bite size steps.

So In invite you to try this little exercise:

Grab a piece of pen and paper and write down the last time you remember resisting, avoiding, or delaying an activity that made you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. Below that, jot down the specific fears you can connect to the discomfort - was it fear of failure? Rejection? Injury? List them all in any order they come to mind. Notice when you start making excuses, using the phrase "I can't" or transferring your personal fears onto someone or something else.

Now that you've identified your fear and your homeostatic impulse, spend some time visualizing yourself actually DOING whatever it is that you resisted/avoided/delayed. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the fear or discomfort; acknowledge these feelings, then bring your attention back to the image of success. Create a vivid picture of yourself being fearless throughout the activity. You've done this 100 times before. It's completely comfortable. Your confidence and ease are clearly expressed in your body language, facial expression, and level of skill.

Keep this image close to you for the next few hours or days, until calling it up becomes almost effortless, as if it were a real memory. Notice how you feel when you think about the activity now. Has the discomfort lessened? Is the fear subsiding as you prepare yourself to stretch and grow?

Fear is a healthy, functionally necessary part of human existence. Without it, we would not survive for very long. But it is also a great saboteur, holding many of us back from leading truly meaningful, fulfilling lives.

So beware the siren song of your old habits. Be conscious and deliberate about moving out of your Comfort Zone as often as possible. Live your life on purpose. Do something that scares you EVERY SINGLE DAY.

© 2003 Marta Kagan
www.lifelinecoaching.com
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About The AUTHOR:
Marta Kagan is an innovative business, career, and life strategist dedicated to helping professional women and entrepreneurs achieve their personal definition of success. With a coaching style that clients describe as empowering, intuitive, and genuine, Marta has helped countless individuals start or grow their businesses, increase their confidence, and create better balance between their personal and professional lives. To learn more about how Marta can help YOU and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her website at www.lifelinecoaching.com.

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