The Realgoalgetter Blog Has Moved!

Just wanted to let everyone know that this goal setting blog has been moved to the Home page of The Realgoalgetter Site.

The new feed address is: http://realgoalgetter.com/feed

This will be the last post so please switch over to the new feed address to continue receiving updates. Thanks in advance.

Al Smith

Self Talk, Are Your Thoughts Normally Positive Or Negative?

Positive Self-Talk

One of the most powerful influences on your attitude and personality is what you say to yourself. It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts, feelings, and your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self talk,” you can begin to assert control over every part of your life.

Your self-talk determines the majority of your emotional life. The words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and how you feel about external events, will trigger the emotions of happiness or unhappiness that you experience.

When you see things positively and you look for the good in every situation and in each person, you will become a very positive and optimistic person. Since the quality of your life is determined by how you feel moment to moment, you should make it a habit to only think and talk about what you want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.

You are constantly faced with challenges, difficulties, and problems every day of your life. They are unavoidable and one of the inevitable parts of being human. But as you draw upon your resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger person.

When you look back over your life, you’ll see that you are the kind of person that you are because of all the difficulties and problems that you have had to overcome in your life. Without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know to developed the character and strength that you have at this point in your life.

Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable for success and happiness. It is the key to success in business, and it is vital to building strong relationships with other people.

Everyone wants to be around a positive person with a cheerful attitude towards life. But no one wants to be around a negative person who is always pessimistic about everything. Your ability to develop and maintain a positive mental attitude, no matter what the situation may be, will play a critical role in any success you achieve.

One of the best ways to define a positive mental attitude is having “a constructive and positive response to adversity.” It is only when you are confronted with a setback or adversity that you really know if you have a positive attitude or not.

Anyone can be positive when things are going well. It is only when things are going against you, that you are able to demonstrate to yourself and others, that you have a positive character and personality.

One of the common characteristics of all high achieving men and women is that they recognize the inevitability of temporary setbacks and disappointments. They accept them as a normal and natural part of their life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when they come up, successful people learn from them and rise above them. They continue to move forward towards their goals.

Optimistic people develop the habit of talking to themselves in constructive ways. Whenever they experience adversity of any kind, they immediately describe it to themselves in a such a way that it looses its ability to trigger negative emotions. They are able to exert a sense of control by how they describe any event or situation to themselves.

There is a natural tendency in all of us to react emotionally when our expectations are frustrated in any way. When something we wanted and hoped for fails to materialize, we feel a temporary sense of disappointment and unhappiness. We feel hurt and disillusioned. We react just as though we had been punched in the “emotional solar plexus.”

A person who is positive and optimistic is resilient and bounces back fast when he or she encounters a problem or setback of any kind. He or she responds quickly to an adverse event and interprets it as being temporary and only external.

An optimistic person takes full control of his or her inner dialogue and counters any negative feelings by immediately reframing the event so that appears positive in some way.

Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, if you deliberately choose the positive thought to dwell upon, you keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive.

Since your thoughts and feelings determine you actions, if you keep your words and thoughts positive, you will automatically be a more positive person and move more rapidly toward your goals.

It all comes down to the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. When a problem or difficulty comes up you must learn to change your language from negative to positive. For example, you should learn to use the word situation instead of problem.

A problem is something you wrestle and struggle with. It represents a potential loss and difficultly. A situation, on the other hand, is just something that you deal with. The event is the same. But the way you interpret the event to yourself is what makes it sound and appear completely different.

An even better word to substitute for problem is the word challenge. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I have an interesting challenge facing me.”

The word challenge is inherently positive. It is something that you rise to and that makes you stronger. It is again the same situation, only the word that you are using to describe it is different. As a result, your emotional response will be different as well.

The best of all possible words for any event or situation is the word opportunity. When you are faced with a difficulty of any kind, instead of saying, “I have a problem,” you should say, “I am faced with an unexpected opportunity.”

Within ever difficulty or problem, there lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity or benefit. If you focus your attention on finding out what the valuable lesson is, you will always find it.

You should start your day in front of a mirror saying affirmations, such as “I like myself,” “I am the best,“ and “I can do it.” These are personal and positive affirmations that will build your levels of self confidence and self-esteem. You should say these affirmations out loud in front of a mirror at least 50 times a day.

By doing this, you will be driving these new positive thoughts deep into your subconscious. At first when you do this, you’ll feel kind of funny doing it, only because your mind over many years has been programmed with so much negativity that it will take time to reprogram your mind with these new positive affirmations.

The hallmark of the truly successful and happy person is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The high achieving individual has the ability to continue talking to himself or herself in a positive and optimistic way no matter what the situation is.

They are always calm, clear, and completely under control. As a result, they are able to exert a far greater sense of control and influence over their environment, and are less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted by problems or difficulties.

The starting point of becoming a more positive person is to monitor and control your self-talk every minute of the day. Keep your thoughts and words positive and consistent with your goals. Keep your mind focused on what you want and on becoming the person you want to be.

Remember that it is impossible to learn, grow and become successful without adversity and difficulties. You must rise above them in order to become a better person. So, welcome each difficulty as a learning experience and look into the situation to find something good or beneficial in it.

Always, keep your thoughts on your future and on your goals. Constantly think about the person you want to become. When things go wrong temporarily, respond by saying to yourself, “I believe in the perfect outcome of every situation in my life.”

Resolve to be cheerful and pleasant in every situation. Resist every temptation to respond to a situation negatively. View disappointment as an opportunity to grow stronger, and talk to yourself and others about it in a positive and optimistic way.

When you practice positive self-talk, and keep your words and your mental pictures consistent with your goals, nothing can stop you from being the success you are meant to be.

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc.
All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. A former ad agency executive and marketing consultant, Joe’s work in personal development focuses on helping his clients identify hidden marketable assets that create windfall opportunities and profits, as well as sound personal happiness and peace.

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

Can We Be Happy, Healthy, And Rich?

Do you really need to read another emotional article about being sick and tired of not being rich? Yes, you do want to get rich. The inside of your head is waiting to explode, you want it so bad!

You want to get rich though NOW, right? . . . RIGHT?

You might even have read a million articles and advice columns all over the internet. “Live below your means” is something you read all the time. It’s absolutely true but that sucks, doesn’t it?

You don’t want people to ask you to create a budget and stick to it or start early or invest now and not touch it until retirement and more along these lines.

Get started NOW. Don’t just spend your lifetime in thinking and dreaming. Do something solid now. It may not be the super right thing to do, but do it nevertheless. Just get started.

Edison did not invent the bulb overnight. He just started. He perhaps found some 10,000 odd ways that will not result in a bulb as the end! But alas, he made his creation. He tells the story about how he had found all the ways it wouldn’t work, so that the next thing had to work!

Start off now. Mistakes are part of the process. You will learn how not to do it the next time. Take action, analyze the results and be flexible. Adjust when necessary.

Remember, it is OKAY to fail. Mistakes are bound to occur. You can’t afford to be too hard on yourself. Most times, success lies behind the last mistake you make, which might even be a 100th mistake you are making. Just don’t stop digging three feet short of the gold!

You want to be rich. You’re just on your way. Pump yourself up and move on. Get closer to your dream.

You have loads of energy in you. You’re sick of earning a pittance. You want to see real money come your way now. So here’s what you need to rightfully do:

First, decide what “rich” is. Are you referring to Bill Gates rich where you can afford just about anything? Maybe you don’t really want to work that hard. You want to work lesser but still be “rich”. So, the first rule of thumb is - be specific. Do you want to be rich in the billion dollar area, 100 million area or maybe just 10 million dollars would be rich enough.

Here’s a quick idea, don’t work! . . . At least, don't work for someone else. Be your own boss. Well, you can have a job, and also work for yourself can't you?.

Are you going to work to please your boss or yourself? Please yourself first; you will realize that everybody around you will be happier with you if you are first happy yourself.

So, make yourself absolutely happy first and then you can go about doing that for others. Primary importance is you and you only. Do not forget this. You must take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

Do what you love doing. Commercialize on what you love doing. It might initially seem like you can’t make any money out of it. But concentrate, meditate and THINK of all possible ways to make something work out for you. What you love doing should fetch you money somehow.

Now this doesn’t mean you can play golf all day and earn money. Not unless you’re Tiger Woods! Find some creative ways to make money with something you like doing. You just have to do this.

You can get rich. Just go out there now and do what you love doing. You have a wonderful brain. You just have to tap it and getting that lazy lost thing to start working. Think. Come up with a plan and plunge headlong into it.

Money is just a measure of the value you provide to others. Service to others should always be compensated for in some way. All you have to do is find enough of those people who can afford to pay for your services, and provide value and benefits they want or need, and are willing to pay for them.

Follow your passion and begin to strategize on how to monetize your efforts. Money will follow. Money will follow in great amounts as long as you keep persisting in locating strategies to earn compensation for your efforts. It will.

I apologize if this sounded more like a sermon than a post. After all, I needed a kick in the butt, and this helped me work things out in my own mind . . .

See you next time.

Al

Happiness Is Not An Accident, Just Be Happy!

Happiness--A Critical Life Skill You Can't Do Without

Wayne Dyer tells us, "Change your thoughts and you change your life." Few people would argue with such ancient wisdom. However sometimes it is easier said than done.

I have spent years actively learning strategies to develop an authentic positive mindset and eliminate negative thought patterns. It's an ongoing process. Much like developing a physical muscle, you can't coast on your progress. Muscles atrophy when they're not used, both physical and mental muscles.

The good news is that there is a wealth of resources available to help. From uncovering limiting beliefs to dissolving fears, from choosing deliberate focus to envisioning a successful future, the tools are plentiful and accessible.

It's helpful to remember that happiness isn't an accident--it's a skill that can be learned, one that can help you feel better, resist depression and greatly improve your relationships and your life. A great place to begin building your happiness skill is to build your optimism muscle.

Psychologist, clinical researcher and bestselling author Martin Seligman has spent 25 years studying optimism and pessimism. In his book, Learned Optimism, he states that pessimistic thinking can undermine not just your behaviour but your success in all areas of your life.

"Pessimism is escapable," he writes. "Pessimists can learn to be optimists."

By altering your view of your life, you can actually alter your life, he says. The first step is to recognize your "explanatory style." What do you say to yourself when you experience a set back?

When you find yourself caught in pessimistic thinking, use the following strategies offered by Price Pritchett in his book, Hard Optimism: How to Succeed in a World Where Positive Wins, to build your optimism muscle.

Recognize and Dispute Pessimistic Thoughts. Don't allow your mind to run on autopilot with negative thoughts getting free rein to spread unhappiness. When you notice the negative thoughts, refocus on past successes, emphasize your strengths, look for what is good about the situation, and identify solutions.

Don't Accept Problems at Face Value. When trouble hits, give yourself a short period of time to let the initial shock wear off, then switch your attention from worst-case to best-case thinking. This reframing counters the tendency to overestimate problems and underestimate your ability to handle them successfully. Positive reframing creates space for optimism, nurtures hope, and adds to your resilience.

Make Hope a Habit. Hope helps move us in the direction of our goals and ambitions. Research proves that hope improves our chances for success, increases happiness, and is good for your health. Hope energizes and mobilizes us, serving as a catalyst for action. Because hope links directly to our confidence level, it inspires us to aim higher, put forth more effort, and have more staying power.

Practice "Spiritual Optimism." Joan Borysenko, psychologist, speaker and author of several books, including Fire in the Soul, encourages people who experience feelings of despair and hopelessness in times of crises to remember it takes courage to live, and that we can find that courage by facing our fears, finding support and using prayer or meditation.

A critical belief that underlies all of these points is the existence of choice. You are free to choose the focus of your attention, your interpretation of a situation, and your actions. By choosing to focus, interpret, and act on situations in a positive and optimistic manner you create a joyful, successful life that continues to build a positive momentum. What more can you ask for!

I invite you to share your thoughts on this topic. What strategies do you use to build your optimism muscle? What makes you happy? To join the discussion, visit my blog.

by Sheila Betker

Sheila Betker is founder of Freedom to Dream, a company dedicated to connecting women with their true life's purpose and helping them build the life of their dreams. To sign up for a free 10-part ecourse entitled, Living Your Dream Life: Step By Step Guide to Living Your Life on Purpose, visit: Freedom To Dream.

Say No With Grace And Compassion (When You Need To)

There are times in our life when we just need to say "NO" to a request from someone wanting some of our time or effort, or take us into a situation we just don't want to be in.

Here are a few ideas that can take you out of that situation and let them know that you do care about them, so they don't get the wrong idea.

Say No With Grace and Compassion

The hard part of saying "no," especially to friends and family, is that you simply don't want to hurt someone. After all, you think, they wouldn't have asked if they didn't really need or want it, would they?

And, as social beings, most of us want to be helpful. Helping is part of survival for the family and community. It's bred into us at home, and reinforced in school, on T.V. and in all sorts of literature.

Also, we've been trained to consider saying "no" to be rude. Unacceptable. Provocative. We get that notion reinforced by the number of people who show anger or disappointment when we say it. Additionally, we get anxious when people are angry or disappointed with us. We feel guilty when someone obviously feels rejected.

If that weren't enough, many, many folks take "no" as a challenge or as a starting point for negotiation. In fact, salespeople are specifically taught to take "no" as the opening salvo in a battle to get to "yes." (Of course, if you are a parent, you already understand the challenge process and tactics from in-depth experience.)

Add all of that to the abiding human need to be needed, and you've got a whopper of a problem about saying "no."

Nevertheless, for whatever reason -- and just not wanting to do it is good enough -- you have to say "no." So you want to do it well. You want to be firm and believable. You want to have your "no" be accepted and unchallenged. You want everyone to walk away feeling good about it. Or at least without any resentments or damage to the relationship.

So, here are a couple of techniques you can use to put yourself in a good frame of mind and mode of communication to be both compassionate and graceful in refusing a request or offer:

• Smile. Smile a genuine, grateful smile of appreciation for having been asked to be of help. Say "no" in with a tone and attitude that reflects the gratitude of your smile.

• Imagine having to saying "no" to someone you love and really want to help. Picture it in full color detail. See that person's face and allow yourself to feel your affection and good will for him or her. Practice various ways of saying "no" while in that caring state of mind. Use the same image in the real situation as well as in practicing.

Try practicing variations on some of the following to find your own "no" voice. Get a variety of friends to practice with you and give you feedback on how you're doing. (One practice partner is not enough -- you need to practice with several people who have different perspectives. And, by the way, if someone you ask to help says "no," accept the refusal graciously.)

Ways to phrase refusals:

• Generic: "Thank you for thinking of me, but no, I just can't. Let me suggest someone else who might."

• Generic: "Sorry, but I just don't have the time right now. I think X might help out. Do you want his phone number?"

• Generic: "I'd like to help, but I'm not able to now. Is there another time that I could work with you on that?"

• Invitations to do something you don't like, by someone you do like: "Thanks, but the truth is I really hate baseball (or ballet or opera or whatever). Let's plan to do something we both like, some other time."

• When asked to do something that's just plain wrong (cheating, fraud, harmful lies, etc.): "No, I'm not willing to do that, and I'm concerned that you might be harmed (get in trouble) if you do that. Are you open to other suggestions?"

Take the time to write out a list of refusals of your own, similar to the ones above. Make sure to practice them so that you can deliver them calmly and kindly in the real situation and so that you are always prepared to say "no" effectively.

Be warned: no matter how compassionate and caring you are, some people won't take no for an answer and you'll still end up with a power struggle. Some people will be hurt. Some people will be resentful. And sometimes relationships will end when you don't give the other person what they want. You can only do your best.

by C.S. Clarke

C.S. Clarke, Ph.D. is a psychologist and publisher of http://www.Superperformance.com a Performance Impact, Inc. property. http://www.Superperformance.com publishes human performance and self-improvement articles, link directories, e-books, and many other tools for improving human performance and productivity, for career development, and for personal achievement.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=C.S._Clarke,_Ph.D.

No Fear, No Fear, No Fear, Say Yes!

In a culture full of reasons to say "no", it takes a lot of courage to find ways to say "yes".

We're taught to say "no" from a very young age, after all. For most of us, our first word was "no'', and it quickly became our favorite word. As toddlers and teenagers, we used "no'' to differentiate ourselves from our parents, peers, and surroundings.

It's how we began to control what was happening around us, or at least, how we tried to control that. It helped us over those early developmental hurdles, and gave us our earliest sense of our personal boundaries -- and that's a lot of significance bound up in such a tiny word!

The problem isn't that "no" in and of itself is somehow bad; indeed, giving yourself permission to say "no" as an adult can keep you out of an awful lot of trouble.

The problem is that "No" begins to take on a life of its own. Too often, that life is yours.

Life is change, and "no" becomes a way of slowing down that change, or trying to stop it altogether. It is a shield we use to protect ourselves from having to experience anything new or different.

Rather than riding the wave of change into a life full of exhilarating possibilities, we use "no" as a tether to keep us safely confined to the kiddie pool.

Using "no" to protect ourselves from change is like a kitten poking its head under covers assuming it's completely hidden.

Change is going to happen, whether you say "no" to it or not. And, just like that kitten, assuming that "no" protects you from change is one sure way to have it pounce on you and bite your tail.

Let's be honest here: We usually say "no'' out of fear, and some fears are entirely reasonable. It's sensible to say "no'' to jumping off a bridge or "no'' to cake if you are diabetic. These "no's'' aren't the ones that keep us from living lives of incredible satisfaction and happiness.

It's those silly, neurotic fears like fearing rejection, or of looking stupid, or being wrong. It's the fear of commitment, the fear of speaking out, and the fear of facing our truest, deepest desires.

The list is nauseatingly long, and we've all bought into some of these at least once. These fears have shaped our lives, often to our detriment and sometimes to the detriment of those around us.

So the next time you're faced with something new and exciting and all those little neurotic fears start rioting inside you, what does it take to fight down a "no" and say "yes" instead?

In a word: Courage.

Like the Cowardly Lion (an archetype for the fear-ridden) we need to find our courage. Unlike him, we know that we have to face our fears, and find our courage within.

Inside each of us beats a brave, fiercely courageous heart, willing to take on a challenge if it means that life afterward will be more authentic, happier, and free.

What better challenges to tackle than the fears that keep us chained to our tiny, boring, closeted little lives?

Do yourself a favor: Right now, identify and tackle at least one of those inner fears. Find a reason to say "yes" today, and every day. You've only your inner coward to lose!

by Rev. Dr. Alesia Matson

Rev. Dr. Alesia Matson is co-founder of Reasons to Say Yes! a community of like-minded souls who are determined not to allow internal fears to limit or inhibit the broad range of joyous experiences available to them in this life. She teaches and writes articles on meditation and self-improvement, and is the author of 7 Mysteries: Contemplative Arts for the Modern Mystic. Contact her at alesia@reasons2sayyes.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com

Seven Decision Making Tips That Clarify Your Goal Setting

Image via WikipediaThe Art of Decision Making: Tips on Making Decisions You Can Live With

Making decisions in our lives – whether it’s what to eat for lunch or where to find your next job – can seem overwhelming. Each decision carries with it a result and a chain of events that may dictate the course of our lives.

For those of us who consider every decision as life or death, day-to-day decisions can seem impossible! Goal Setting or prioritizing helps immeasurably in clarifying the decision making process.

To help you discover the finer points of decision-making, here are some valuable tips on how you can make decisions that you can live with every day as you go after your goals:

1. Map out your decision. Start by evaluating the decision to be made. What are the details? By mapping out exactly what your decision will entail as far as consequences and results, you’ll be on your way to making an informed decision that you can live with.

2. Weigh pros and cons. This process is tried and true. Make a list and evaluate the pros in one column against the cons in another. Include short and long term consequences as well as positives and negatives and how they will affect your goals progress.

Seeing the pros and cons before you on paper will make the matter at hand seem all the more evident as far as how you should make your decision. In your evaluation, give more weight to the pros and cons that carry more weight in your life.

· The quantity of pros or cons does not equal the quality.

For example, if one of your main goals and priorities in life is to make more money, listing “make more money” on your pros column should count for more than one of the cons in the other column.

3. Become informed. Find out all of the related information you need to make your decision. Being better informed through research or talking to others will help you make a decision you can live with.

4. Consider your motives. While evaluating your list of pros and cons, consider what motives may be contributing to the points you added in both columns. Revise or weigh accordingly. For example, can the con on your list be attributed to your lifelong fear or is it merely situational?

· In the case of fears, perhaps facing your fears should be part of the decision. Facing the fear may be a pro as opposed to the fear being a con. Facing a fear may clear a limiting factor in your goals program so you can be more effective.

5. Give yourself a deadline. When faced with an important decision, we tend to delay making the ultimate choice. By giving yourself a deadline, you will have no other choice than to decide one way or another.

6. Look at the decision as part of the bigger goals picture. Is this a small or large decision in the course of your life? Decide which and evaluate accordingly. If it’s small, perhaps you’re spending too much time and consideration on it. If it’s larger, how will it fit in with the rest of your life goals?

· By examining the decision for what it is in the short and long-term, you will better understand how the decision affects the bigger picture.

7. Recognize the relativity. Many tough decisions can carry with them irrevocable consequences, but more often than not, there is always more time and more opportunity to make the decision again. Worrying needlessly about one decision is usually futile.

· Most decisions only determine your short-term circumstances in the relative present. In most cases your decision can be altered in the future when circumstances are different or you’re in a different stage of your life.

Following these tips can transform decision-making from a stressful process into a process that gives you more confidence and control in your life.

Embrace decision making as the good thing that it is, and the result will be a happier, more confident you! So, set your goals, commit to making new decisions that align with your longer term life path.

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Do You Have Enough Energy To Pursue Your Goals?

Image by Scott Robbin via FlickrGoals Take Energy – Top Energy Boosters To Try

Fatigue and lack of energy are at the top of the heap when it comes to the excuses for failure to realize goals.

Here are some ways to boost your energy while you are on the path to higher achievement. Try some of these to see which work best for you.

Play some Energetic music. Different types of music have different effects on us, but you can learn which are best for you by trial and error. Once you find the music that wakes you up, keep it ready. Keep a tape in your car, and a CD in the player at home.

Sleep better. The research seems to show that as long as you get at least five hours of sleep, the quality is more important than the quantity. Try drinking something warm before bed, or relax with a simple meditation.

Talk about something interesting. Have you ever seen a tired person start to talk about something they're passionate about, and suddenly "wake up." It's a powerful technique you can use for yourself. Have a few "favorite" subjects that get you going.

Deep breathing. Several slow deep breaths help oxygenate the blood supply better, and especially seems to wake up the brain.

Have an "energy drink. The verdict isn't in on most of them, but it's a cheap option to try. I seem to get something from the ones with Ginkgo Biloba in them.

Move your body. Sometimes just getting up and washing the dishes, or walking around the house helps boost energy levels.

Exercise. It's not a quick solution, but many people notice an increase in their energy level when they get regular aerobic exercise.

Hot and cold shower. Try a minute of hot water, then a minute of cold, alternating for six minutes. This isn't for those with weak hearts, but it will wake you up. Incidentally, research shows that this also revs up the immune system.

Get outside. Often, a little sunshine and fresh air can be very energizing.

These are just some of the things that can boost your energy supply for goal achievement when you need it. Write down the techniques that work for you when you try them and remind yourself to use them.

I'm tired is not an option . . . energize and go for your goals with gusto.

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Goals Work - Mastermind Groups And Support Networks

Image via WikipediaReach For Your Goals - Find Those Positive People With The Intent To Build a Support Team or Mastermind Group

It has been stressed that achieving goals is not a solitary process. Help in some form is needed to make the process easier. Develop your support network or find a group of positive like minded individuals to enhance your goal achievement.

Keep in mind that you are not reinventing the wheel here. Just because you have a goal doesn’t mean that everything has to be done the hard way in order to claim it as yours.

Few original ideas remain in this world. It is your personal take on them that makes your goals unique.

Create your own support team. In order to make reaching your goal a simpler process that doesn’t have you pulling your hair out or feeling like you have to do everything all by yourself.

This is a group of people that you can count on at different times to help you reach the end of your goal. The team can consist of anyone that you trust implicitly to have your best interests at heart.

Start with those closest to you. Family members can take an interest in your goal. To make it official, have them sign a contract that states they will assist you in specific ways during the achievement of this goal. These contracts are like pacts between people to support one another. Have fun with it.

You might find that family members are willing to help, until they have to tell you the hard things. Instead they may sugar coat or even down right lie to you about something for fear of hurting your feelings.

In that case, family members are perfect as your pep team. They can be there to cheer you on and pick you up when you are down in the dumps about your goal.

Next, call on the help of your more positive friends. It isn’t necessary to give them all the details about your goal but ask them to check in on you from time to time in an effort to keep you focused on the goal. That doesn’t require specifics just a willingness to be a caring partner in the process.

Church groups can help achieve goals as well. Become a part of a prayer group to increase your spiritual strength as you undertake this goal. For religious individuals, the spiritual component of the support team is an integral part of achieving their goals and should not be left out.

Create Your Own Mastermind Group. Another great way to get support in reaching your goals is by building a mastermind group. What is a mastermind group you might ask?

It is a group composed of people who are all working towards the same or similar goal. They may be taking a different path to get there, but each person in the group is united in the fact that some day they will all achieve that goal. It is a true interdependent relationship, every person in the group contributes and in turn benefits.

These groups can be found on the Internet or you can create your own if you have the time and the drive. Mastermind groups are helpful for business and personal goals. They share ideas, experiences, resources, and motivation to help all members get to the next level of completing their goals.

Everyone in the group has a common goal and realizes that many heads are better than one. Mastermind groups form alliances that can be helpful and productive beyond just your current goals too.

If a goal is particularly trying at times, it is a tremendous relief to know that someone else out there knows exactly how you feel. These groups are also great for being honest with you when it comes to the hard times of achieving your goals.

Members won’t be afraid of hurting your feelings, like friends or family might be, and will simply tell it like it is. That is what you want here. Sometimes, whether we like it or not, that’s exactly what we need in order to overcome hurdles and get to the finish line.

These are just a couple of ways you can reach your goals faster and with greater momentum by enlisting the help of others.

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More On Positive Associations And How To Avoid Negative People

Image via WikipediaThe Value Of Positive Associations And How to Avoid Negative People

There’s an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” The reasoning behind this is that we tend to become like the people we hang out with.

If you’re around “cannot, should not, and do not” people, then you’ll constantly be discouraged and depressed. Instead, surround yourself with visionaries and those who can inspire and motivate you so you can, should, and do take action.

How To Avoid Negative People - Following your intuition can be an effective way of weeding out negative people early on. Here are some body language signs to look out for and be aware of when you meet new people:

· A sick or uncomfortable feeling forms in the pit of your stomach.
· The hair on the back of your neck stands on end.
· Your skin crawls and you feel jumpy and adverse to touch.
· Your shoulder muscles knot up and your throat and chest constrict.
· You feel a sense of pressure, agitation, or darkness.
· You feel physically, mentally, or emotionally drained after meeting the individual.

These symptoms may be your body’s way of telling you to stay clear of this person. You may leave their presence feeling depressed and discouraged because all you’ve heard is complaining.

Naturally, this sucks the energy right out of you, but you can learn to read these signs early on and you’ll save yourself from becoming involved with a negative person. These people are toxic and will poison your mind with their negativity.

Seek Out People with Positive Attitudes

Sometimes you can tell someone is positive just by their outward appearance or the way they conduct themselves. Walking confidently with their head up or even smiling are signs that a person is in a positive mood.

Some other signs of a positive person are more intuitive, such as:

· You get a feeling of familiarity – as if you’ve known the person forever.
· You feel relaxed, calm, and safe.
· You breathe easier.
· You lean forward instead of crossing your arms defensively and withdrawing.
· You’re at ease with the other person’s touch (hug, handshake, etc.).
· You leave their presence feeling energized and alive.

Just as negative people put out a negative energy, positive people have positive energy. These people are nourishing and supportive. Your body can pick up on this and warn you or encourage you depending on the situation.

How do we go about finding these positive people we wish to associate with? Much of the above responses are simply felt in our day-to-day associations.

However, there are more proactive steps we can take to align ourselves with positive people:

· Find a local community event, club, or group where people challenge themselves and encourage their members to be better people. They will help you set goals for yourself and then achieve them.

· Participate in online forums or organize your own positive mentoring group. Sometimes it’s impossible to completely avoid certain negative people (perhaps a boss or family member), but you can limit your relationship with them and seek out positive role models elsewhere.

· Utilize your positive support system to prevent the negative people in your life from getting the best of you. Get positive again immediately!

The choices you make in life are yours alone. It’s completely in your power to choose who you are friendly with and whether you want to live a happy life or be miserable.

If you feel too much negativity, take control of your life and make some changes to eliminate the negative sources. This will likely take some time but making these changes will help improve your daily mood and remind you that good things are ahead.