Practice Positive Self Talk - Believe In Yourself!

Self Improvement - What Are You Telling Yourself?

Guest Author Krystal Kuehn - Did you ever listen in on your self-talk? Most self-talk messages are an evaluation of some kind. We evaluate our work, feelings, experiences and our lives. We determine what is good or bad; and what is acceptable or to be rejected.

Many people evaluate themselves negatively. They might call themselves "stupid," "lazy" or some other unbecoming label. Maybe that is how you talk to yourself as well. You might not think anything of it at the time or even realize that it is actually damaging to your self-esteem.

From the time we are born we are evaluated, judged and labeled. We receive both positive and negative feedback about our performance, traits, and habits. We are told what we did right and what we did wrong.

We constantly receive messages of approval and disapproval. All of this shapes our identity and determines what we believe about ourselves. Eventually, we repeat to ourselves the messages that we've heard and now believe.

Both positive and negative messages have a tremendous influence on a person's self-esteem as well as their attitude. Think of a time when you were encouraged and strengthened to believe in yourself as a result of someone's positive feedback and faith in you.

Conversely, imagine a time when you lost your confidence and felt like giving up because you believed a negative message of criticism and defeat.

No one likes to be negatively evaluated, judged or put down. Yet, it is all too common to focus on what is wrong with ourselves and others instead of what is right; and, to overlook strengths and worth.

As a result, many end up feeling that they fall short. And, they spend their lives trying to live up to certain standards in order to feel good about who they are and what they are capable of.

Everyone needs to feel intrinsic value and worth. Everyone has strengths, assets, potential, intrinsic beauty and worth. If we look for these things and all that is good in ourselves and others we will find them.

We can make a conscious choice to set aside our negative evaluations, judgments and criticism. We can compliment instead of criticize, defend instead of blame, build up instead of tear down, and accept and love instead of judge or reject.

Much of whether or not we will do these things depends on the kinds of messages we listen to and believe.

We don't have to replay those old messages that leave us with negative labels and discouraging self-talk. The only way to stop listening to them is to begin listening to messages of encouragement and hope.

We want to hear the truth in love. Messages of simple acceptance of who you are, messages that help you see yourself as valuable, special, and worthy, and messages that build you up to believe in yourself can become louder and louder as we begin to speak them to ourselves and others.

by Krystal Kuehn

Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC, LLP, NCC is a licensed professional counselor, author, teacher, and musician. She specializes in helping people live their best life now, reach their full potential, overcome barriers, heal from their past, and develop a lifestyle of health, happiness, and love.

Krystal is the cofounder of New Day Counseling, a marriage and family counseling center and BeHappy4Life.com, an award-winning self-improvement and personal growth site where you can find hundreds of free resources, online workshops, video presentations, insights, and inspiration.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Krystal_Kuehn

Do I Like Who I Am . . .

Before we get to today's message, I just wanted to announce that The Current Realgoalgetter Ezine is now posted online. It's got some pretty good stuff in there, but then again I am a little biased . . . LOL! Now over to today's topic.

Do I Like Who I am When I'm There?
By John Carvana

It’s about being authentic. It’s about being true to oneself about oneself regardless of where you are, who you’re with or what’s going on around you. It’s about setting a standard for yourself that being who you really and truly are is a non-negotiable, inflexible, unwavering condition in your life. Authenticity! As the younger generation would say, “It’s about keeping it real”. In this case you are it!

But why is being authentic so important one might ask. As a baby-boomer, my father and my grandfather clearly did not indulge in such reflection. They were too busy defining themselves through their work and doing what men do. Why has the idea of being authentic become so important now?

Well, being authentic has always been essential even prior to my grandfather’s time. However, due to continually improving technology, mounting economic shifts, and their impact on redefining male - female roles and relationships in the workplace and in the community, being authentic for most people is a practice frequently left undone.

What may have seemed like time wasted activity has become essential to defining one’s sense of behavior, ethics and identity.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~ Judy Garland

The first step in this process is the hardest part. It involves taking an honest assessment of who you are at this very moment. Right now! There’s no need to delve once again in the past. The past has passed and there is very little you can do about it other than to either ignore it, repeat it or learn from it. HINT: choose the latter! What’s done is done and it cannot be changed. But you can, if necessary, redirect your present and redefine your future.

Begin by asking yourself these basic questions:
-“What do I want?”
-“What do I value?”
-“Am I getting what I want? If not, what’s stopping me?”
-“Am I ready, willing and able to change to get what I want?”

The trick here is you have to be absolutely honest with yourself about yourself. If you are unable at this time to be completely honest then chances are you are experiencing a sense of separateness and isolation within you that will manifest itself as stress, confusion, anger and, essentially, fear.

Why? Because you are not being who you really are. You have surrendered / submerged / sacrificed your essence (your “Who”) and that is what is preventing you from being authentic. You are, in reality, living life by default and not by your own design or in accordance with the intentions that your Creator has for you.

"I am only one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." - Helen Keller

Are you living your purpose? Do you know what your purpose is? Or are you too busy going through life to take time out to be who you really are and to define what you truly want and deserve? You can make a choice to live by design…your design…or by default. Contact me if you want support achieving more.

John P. Carvana has almost thirty years experience in the field as a career service practitioner and is the founder of Level Playing Field (LPF) Consulting. He is certified as a Career and life Purpose Coach with an added background in organizational training and development. His niche includes motivated individuals over thirty years of age who are in either a career or life transition. John’s specialty is to lessen the gap between where the client is and where they want to be. He has helped hundreds of clients achieve their goals.

A dynamic speaker, John addresses local, regional and national audiences on topics intended to improve their personal and professional development. To learn more about his coaching services, or to schedule John for a speaking engagement, call 209.479.2165 or click http://www.discoveredpurpose.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Carvana

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Are you missing out? Want shortcuts to your goals?
Great Attitudes Create Great Results!
Al Smith is also the Editor and Publisher of
FREE Motivational and Goal Achievement Ezines.
Blast through Procrastination, Inaction, and Distraction
with Consistent Focused Action!
For success tools at your fingertips,
Subscribe Now to The Realgoalgetter Ezine
at http://www.realgoalgetter.com/ezines/.
From The Realgoalgetter Group of Companies;
dedicated to helping you live a long, passionate, joyful life.
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Value Your Time And Your Self-Esteem Will Flourish

Value Your Time And Your Self-Esteem Will Flourish

"What can I do right this second that will change who and what I am a year from now; 4 years from now?" Have you ever stopped for a moment and thought about that question? It just drives me crazy to see people that are supposed to be busy doing something, but they're hiding out. Yeah, I'm like a former smoker who can't stand the smell anymore.

What I mean is I was the biggest procrastinator you've ever met, in my early years. I'd spend an hour trying to get out of half an hour's work. What a circus. My parents, teachers and employers weren't very amused. TV was big in my life. What a shame. What an incredible limiter of life.

Today, I have a pact with myself. If I see a task that has to be done, I do it then, schedule it, or delegate it and make sure I follow up with the delegate. Life has a way of loading more stuff on you as your responsibilities grow, so it's important now to become time wise.

Next month, or next year, when your skill at using time effectively is evaluated... or when you need to get something done fast, you'll have developed your ability-and you'll succeed. You'll be rewarded. Isn't it amazing how, after a week or a month in preparation of a deadline, you're still working on it minutes before it's due? Why is that? Poor planning... "Killing" time, hiding out.

If some thing you have planned is going to take a Herculean effort and may take a team, put the time into planning and delegating. Don't you feel like a dog when you're hiding from a task? I know I did. I just felt like a criminal.

Want to feel like you deserve an award? Want to feel like a hero? Want to be admired by everyone? Then watch yourself and how you use your time. If you catch yourself sitting around watching TV, shooting the bull or reading unimportant magazines or newspaper articles, stop immediately and do something that will make one of your ambitions come true. That is what all effective people do.

You'll enjoy yourself once you get started... That's the toughest part. A year from now, you'll be a year older. Will you be any wiser? What are you here for exactly anyhow? What's your purpose? If you don't know, go to amazon.com, BN or borders.com and search for a book about developing a mission. Stephen Covey is a great person to read.

What if you're 80 years old? A mission can add a bunch of enjoyable years to your life. Why are you sticking around? Be productive. The man across the street from us is 84 years old and his lawn looks like Disney World. It's his passion. Get a degree. You've got the time. Be honest with yourself.

I learned an interesting technique a long time ago... I talk to myself like I'm an advisor... to myself. I tell me what to do, given the facts and situation. This way I can be less of a wimp when it comes to making tough choices with my time.

Instead of immediately thinking I can't do a particular thing, I hear that voice that sounds like me but is much tougher than a person would normally be with themselves. Kind of like a drill sergeant in your own head. All I can tell you is that it works.

I rarely hear, "I don't know..." for long before the sergeant comes in with, "It'll only take a minute. Get it done and you won't have to worry about it later." It always makes sense, so I do it just to shut me up!!

No matter what you may believe, you were born with tremendous ability. Use your own brain. It can help you do so many things that you can't imagine. You're NOT weak. You're strong. You're NOT stupid. In many areas, you've got genius capabilities. Pull it out of you. You are worth it.

WINNING BELIEFS:

-- Today I'm performing at my best

-- I love staying busy

-- When I see a new task, I do it, schedule it or delegate it

-- My time is valuable and I treat it that way

EMPOWERING QUOTE:

"Time ripens all things. No man is born wise." -Miguel De Cervantes

What if you had the same minute-by-minute thoughts as the super successful? Mike Brescia has developed the ultimate mental conditioning programs that can help anyone wipe out intense fears and enjoy huge successes in all areas of life.

by Mike Brescia

Mike Brescia is the creator of the world-renowned Think Right Now! Accelerated Success Conditioning Programs. Mike becomes your own personal success coach - guiding, motivating, inspiring, teaching and moving you in a way that only a best friend would. Mike will inspire you to take a hard look at yourself and be accountable for what you are in life, to be dissatisfied with the "old you" and the bad habits, to take action, ready to happily do whatever it takes to win the game of life.

Find descriptions of all his products at http://www.thinkrightnow.net/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Brescia

Self Esteem Improvement: Who do you think you are?

Self Esteem Improvement: Who do you think you are?

Living in a state of low self esteem can be very damaging to the quality of life you lead on a daily basis. Your self esteem is YOUR opinion of yourself, but far too many people allow others to influence or even make up their opinion for them. It sounds so very silly, but if you think on this you will realize how certain events, comments and encounters helped to "make or break" your self esteem.

There is absolutely no reason at all why people should "suffer" from low self esteem. Your self esteem is something over which you have absolute and immediate control. Think of self esteem as a muscle; it never stays the same for any period of time. Like any muscle it either weakens or gets stronger.

Self esteem improvement is like exercising a muscle. It relies on small incremental improvement on a daily basis. You won't run out to the gym and have perfect muscles for life in an hour. Consistent self esteem improvement is the only way to lasting success and an increase in the quality of your life everyday you live it.

One of the critical key aspects of self esteem improvement is to design your own identity. Your identity is highly suggestible and not something that is fixed in time but rather the subconscious sum total of your personal interpretations of yourself based on the events and circumstances of your life. In simply means that subconsciously your mind automatically makes appraisals of yourself based on what's going on around you.

So, who are you? Take a minute and think deeply on this. How do you define yourself to yourself and to others. Your identity is nothing more than your own beliefs about yourself. Your beliefs are the ideas about yourself that you can convey with certainty. If you say I believe I am smart, you probably have life experiences and references to back this up.

Maybe you got good grades at school and your teachers told you how smart you are. These reference experiences play a critical role in our identities (beliefs about ourselves). This definition of yourself is one of the determining factors in your self esteem. Self esteem improvement therefore needs to start with a change or evaluation of your identity.

So how do you define yourself to yourself? Start by writing down all the characteristic you would want if you knew Santa would deliver it tomorrow morning. Spend some time on this and think on all the qualities that your role models have and as you do this start to build a mental picture of yourself with these qualities. Imagine yourself in situations where you would display these characteristics and qualities.

By using your imagination you are giving your self esteem muscle a workout by building references to back up your new beliefs about yourself. Self esteem improvement by changing and installing your new identity is nothing more than installing and building empowering beliefs about yourself.

A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means. The beliefs you hold about yourself will colour very experience in your life. It gives you the ability to have that sense of certainty in yourself and your own abilities and possibilities.

This feeling of certainty is also called self confidence and is the key ingredient of high self esteem. Self esteem improvement allows you to expand your own view of yourself and become more by giving you that sense of certainty within yourself about yourself and your unlimited possibility.

Once you've decided who you are do not allow anyone to intimidate or influence you. People with high self esteem know exactly who and what they are and are not discouraged by negative feedback or comments. Remember that nothing in life has any meaning except for the meaning that you attach to it. Make self esteem improvement a habit by daily focussing on who you are (your identity) and who you wish to become.

We are all in a constant state of becoming and moving towards our dominant thoughts of ourselves. Take control of your self esteem by consciously defining the identity you want for yourself and as you do this you will accelerate your self esteem improvement by building more references to support your beliefs about yourself. You are a gift to this world and you have your own unique contribution to make to life and the people whose lives you touch.

by Deon Du Plessis

Deon Du Plessis is the founder of The Self Improvement Gym, and author of (in)action, a groundbreaking new action guide on eliminating procrastination.

Develop High Self Esteem, The Foundation For Your Success

Healthy Self-Esteem in Thirty Days

Healthy Self-Esteem is your best weapon on the journey of life. Self-Esteem is the cornerstone of your emotional well-being and success in life. Self-Esteem stems from the knowledge that you are a valuable person. It is the understanding that there is on one who is exactly like you. No one talks like you; No one walks like you; No one has the exact color eyes or hair as you. Even identical twins have subtle differences in personality and characteristics.

Healthy Self-Esteem is realizing that no other person has your personality or your abilities, and it is being comfortable with your uniqueness that sets you apart. Healthy Self-Esteem is that calm sense of self-respect and integrity that deep down in your soul you possess self-worth and confidence in your ability and uniqueness.

Healthy Self-Esteem fosters your inner strength to walk your own path. You avoid succumbing to peer pressure. You have the confidence to say, “NO” to requests or ideas which are demeaning to your integrity or will sabotage your goals.

Healthy Self-Esteem allows you to become a leader, instead of a follower. You know what is best for you. With Healthy Self-Esteem you are able to make decisions, regardless of what others say or do. These are traits that we all want for ourselves and our children.

You can build Healthy Self-Esteem one minute at a time. Every waking minute:

• See yourself as having value.

• See yourself as having the key to what is needed in this world.

• Treat yourself with the highest respect. No one will treat you with more respect than you treat yourself.

• Employ self-discipline to follow through with any endeavor.

• Give yourself positive support by praising yourself for doing a good job, for doing what you do, and for doing things the best you can. “You can do it.” “You are good at everything you do.” “You did a good job.”

• Focus on the positive—avoid focusing on the negative.

• Focus on the glass is half full—avoid focusing on the glass is half empty.

• Give yourself praise and pats on the back for your achievements—no matter how small.

• Focus on the process of goal achievement, avoid bemoaning everything you need to do—your goals come to fruition more quickly.

• Be persistent in everything you do—persistence is the only path to goal achievement.

• Praise others for their accomplishments—when you compliment others you build your own self-esteem, because it’s impossible to sincerely praise others without feeling better about yourself.

• Give as much as you want to receive — What goes around, Comes around.

• Take pride in who you are.

• Take pride in what you do.

“Life is not easy for any of us. But, what of that? We must have perseverance and above all, self-esteem in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” – Marie Curie

In Thirty days you will notice subtle, but powerful differences in the out-come of your endeavors and you will notice you are feeling empowered, confident and focused on goals and achievements.

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, speaker and inspirational leader specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD

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Self Image Exercise

Be Your Own Cheerleader - Give Your Self Esteem A Boost!

Self-Esteem: Being Your Own Cheerleader
By Wendy Betterini

Many of us believe that the only way to feel good about ourselves is to have someone else constantly reaffirm to us that we are good people. The truth is, however, that the act of simply believing in ourselves can be enough to give us the necessary confidence to accomplish the impossible, achieve greatness, and pick ourselves up when we fall.

Far too often we rely on others in our lives to provide us with a best friend’s kindness, a child’s love, or a spouse’s support. If we need love and support, the first place we should look is within ourselves.

Being able to love ourselves requires a lot of practice. Overcoming years of negative reinforcement from society is tough to do. However, once you can successfully say you can love yourself, nobody can take it away from you. We must learn to be our own best friend, our own cheerleaders.

We need to provide ourselves with the love, kindness, and respect we all deserve and desire. Learning to love ourselves can be an ongoing process as we occasionally fall into the trap of believing we're stupid, worthless, no good, etc.

Following are helpful ideas to use when you need inspiration to cheer yourself on.

First, when challenges arise, we must cheer or root for ourselves as we would for our loved ones if they were facing an obstacle. We wouldn’t want them to falter, so why would we allow the same to happen to ourselves? Cheering ourselves on with supportive thoughts and feelings will give us the continued strength we need to overcome many of life’s unknowns.

By repeatedly telling ourselves that we are proud of who we are and what we can accomplish, we receive the encouragement needed to forge ahead in life without fear or reservation. Great things then become possible.

Another way to treat ourselves with love and kindness is to use positive self-talk, and use it often. Our minds must be constantly reinforced with the belief that we have what it takes to achieve what we desire. The resulting outcome will be an optimistic frame of mind that allows us to believe that truly anything is possible.

Positive affirmations will produce the same result. Simply write down a statement, such as “I am a beautiful and lovable person.” Repeat your chosen positive affirmations daily until their truth is instilled into your consciousness. In other words, when we believe we are beautiful and lovable, we will be beautiful and lovable.

Unfortunately, being our own cheerleader also means we have to accept there will be times where we need a “pick me up.” Being there for ourselves to pick up the pieces when we’re down, or when it seems things are falling apart, is a courageous thing to do. We should not rely on others to put our lives back together for us.

Rather, we must learn how to comfort ourselves and regain the positive outlook that will keep us going in the right direction. Most importantly, when feeling down, we need to take the time to reaffirm our value and our worth by the use of positive self-talk and positive affirmations.

Finally, being our own cheerleader has the distinct ability to provide us with a sense of leadership, of control over ourselves. Learning to fulfill our own needs allows us to avoid a destructive dependency on others for our feelings of worthiness.

Self-worth is a belief that comes from within, and nobody can give that to us or take it away. We must remember that no matter what our circumstances are, we always deserve a pat on the back. Go ahead, give yourself the praise you deserve!

About the Author: Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.

Source: www.isnare.com

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Are you missing out? Want shortcuts to your goals?
Great Attitudes Create Great Results!
Al Smith is also the Editor and Publisher of
FREE Motivational and Goal Achievement Ezines.
Blast through Procrastination, Inaction, and Distraction
with Consistent Focused Action!
For success tools at your fingertips,
Subscribe Now to The Realgoalgetter Ezine
at http://www.realgoalgetter.com/ezines/.